food glorious food

From Sunday lunch..

Pregnancy: making your husband stop at McDonalds on your way to sizzler, and getting away with it. I also ate a box of sultanas on the way home.

pimples

Pimples

I forgot how much I hate these little lumps of puss. pregnancy hormones are so annoying. It is bad enough that I'm waking at 3 am and not being able to get back to sleep, but now I have headaches for a different reason. I have pimples all through my hairline and they really hurt. It's embarrassing but it is the physical discomfort that upsets me the most. I don't know if it is safe to use skin products in pregnancy so I haven't. I hope they go away soon.

night wakings

These night wakings are really grating on me. I have so much trouble sleeping at night. We just got our one year old sleeping through before I fell pregnant, and I had a few blissful nights of 8 hours uninterupted sleep. It was bliss. My excitement was short-lived though because soon after the pregnancy hormones kicked in and I have been waking at least twice a night. At first I would just go to the toilet, have a drink of water and go back to sleep with little drama. Then there were the countless nights of lying there saying "please let me sleep, please let me sleep" for an hour or so until finally falling asleep just before my daughter woke up screaming. She is teething at the moment so she wakes early. I can convince her to go back to sleep after a feed (yeah I'm still breastfeeding even though my doctors say I need to stop) and a long cuddle, but by the time I do that my husband is up for the day. Well his alarm is anyway. His alarm is the mother of all things annoying but of course he has to go to work to pay the bills. Overtired and hormonal, I always feel like he needs me to keep him motivated, off his backside, getting ready for the day ahead. Of course he never appreciates my prompting, but if I don't get up with him he sits on his buttocks until 10 minutes before he has to leave when our daughter senses something is not right and wakes up, then we have the mad rush to get him ready and out the door while juggling a groggy toddler.

This morning I haven't bothered lying there punishing myself for being awake. I have gotten up, had a bowl of cereal and spent some time on the internet. I should do the dishes or something useful but I don't want to wake the baby. I am tired enough to sleep now but my daughter normally wakes soon. I don't want to wait up coz she woke randomly at 1 am so maybe she won't wake early today. I have a big day ahead (everyday is big) and know I need as much sleep as I can get. Listening to the violent snores from my bedroom hubby is on a roll tonight. I should try and sleep through it but I don't like my chances. Wish me luck!

waiting

Waiting until 12 weeks to share the news is almost killing me. I am pregnant. I am very excited and scared at the same time. I have a one year old. So this is my second baby. I am not sure how I'll cope with two babies, or how I'll cope with a baby and a bump. Morning sickness is a big struggle, but so far so good, thanks to my mostly supportive husband. I thought pregnancy would be easier the second time, coz I would know what to expect, however is expecting back, neck, boob, pelvic and joint pain a good thing? Is knowing I will be fat, awkward, uncomfortable, emotional and sweaty helpful? Take a ride with me through pregnancy the second time around.

Let Me Love You Lord

A song. I have chords but I haven't checked them recently so I won't put them up. Written to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ in 2007

Let Me Love You Lord

Oh let me love you Lord,
like you love me
won't you open up my eyes
so I can finally see
I could live life on my own
but that would only be
a shadow of the joy that comes
from knowing you as number one
let me love you like
you love me

I've come too far to turn away,
but still so far to go
if I'm gonna get much further,
I know I have to lose control
I want so much to trust you
but the voices in my mind
and the things on earth I cling to
have begun to drive me blind

Oh let me love you Lord
like you love me
won't you open up my eyes
so I can finally see
that Jesus' death and resurrection
set me free
I do not have to be afraid
to love you each and every day
Let me love you like
You love me

So I come to you this moment
needing to be pulled apart
will you put me back together
with love of Jesus in my heart?
Will you let me live for you Lord
like a candle in the dark?
May I learn to hate what you hate
and to seek what you love

Let me love you Lord
like you love me
Will you let me live a life
that lets the people see
that you can make a princess
of a mess like me
Will you drive the evil out
and fill me up with love
let me love you like
you love me

Another explanatory post

I found my old journals from highschool and uni.I'm in the process of putting everything (poems, songs, artworks that I don't think are totally rubbish) up here so that if the house burns or floods or Alexis finds my old journals, or some other random event happens they won't be lost forever. Yes, the recent floods in QLD spooked me. Besides, I never know, someone somewhere might get something out of reading these, and that would be awesome. These were never written to be hidden, but I've never had the guts to share them, until now. I hope you enjoy. Feel free to comment but please be gentle with me.

Bear window art

In the aftermath of the Australian floods I've decided to immortalise some of my arty stuff by putting it on a blog. Some stuff might be good, some might be not-so-good, but I'll never know if I don't put it out there.

This is some window art I made for my baby. The paints are probably 10 years old, we found them in a cupboard at my parents' house. So considering that I think it turned out well. So easy to do, I just traced the outline from an old colouring in book and filled it in with colour.