wiggly baby

I can feel my baby moving inside me already. I have for about a week or so but I second guessed myself because it is so early in the pregnancy. I am only 12 weeks, and the "experts" say you can't feel the baby til about 18 weeks. I am absolutely certain though that what I'm feeling is indeed my little cherub moving around.

I forgot how awesome this feels.

I'm having one of those golden moments at the moment. I'm feeding my daughter and she has just fallen asleep. She is snuggling up to me, her head resting gently in the crook of my arm. Her little brother or sister is moving around as if they are trying to say hello. It's precious.

My daughter slept in this morning and the baby was incredibly active inside me, as if trying to say "come on mummy wake sissy up its time to play". Baby also responds well to storytime and grooves along to the wiggles. According to the experts baby's ears don't work yet, but it certainly seems as if they do. Maybe baby picks up on my excitement? Or maybe the experts are wrong? Or maybe the experts are usually right but my baby is special just like his/her big sister, who is also quite advanced. Their daddy is pretty clever, so they just might be.

unexpected pain

A certain amount of pain in pregnancy is to be expected. A certain amount of pain in labour is unavoidable unless one has an elective caesarian, in which case the pain happens in recovery. We are used to the idea that carrying and delivering and raising babies is going to hurt at times.

Let me tell you about a kind of unexpected pain I experienced today. I had bad morning sickness with my first pregnancy, but have been, overall, lucky this time around. Until today. Tomorrow I am officially twelve weeks. That's when morning sickness is meant to stop, apparently. Well today I was not feeling well but tried to force myself to eat anyway, as it usually works.

I thought I was familiar with pain. But I have a new theory, you don't know the meaning of pain until you have vomited a hot cup of tea and a hot cross bun and a multivitamin with such gusto that half of it comes out your nose. "It burns" just doesn't seem to cut it.

my hormonal 13 month old

I'm still breastfeeding my 13 month old, partly because she is a booby fiend, partly because trying to wean her was exhausting and frustrating. If I'm honest with myself a part of me is just not ready to stop feeding even though my doctor is telling me I have to.

One thing I did not anticipate is the change in my daughter's behaviour. She is normally fairly stable, kind, affectionate, loving, independent and adventurous. Lately she has been clingy, sooky, whingy, whiny, lethargic and ravenous. Every so often her mood changes back to her normal cheery self. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy extra cuddles with my little girl, but I wonder, is this my fault? Are my hormones passing through the breastmilk, upsetting her and making her moody. Or is it my less than stable mood she is picking up through observing my less than perfect behaviour. Or is it that my milk is drying up and she is upset about that. Perhaps all of the above.

She is teething, so maybe that's the only reason. She would be in pain coz her teeth are huge. The thing is when she is teething she wants more boob feeds. So I can't really take the boob away from her now, its her main source of comfort. Hmmm, this is tricky.

food glorious food

From Sunday lunch..

Pregnancy: making your husband stop at McDonalds on your way to sizzler, and getting away with it. I also ate a box of sultanas on the way home.

pimples

Pimples

I forgot how much I hate these little lumps of puss. pregnancy hormones are so annoying. It is bad enough that I'm waking at 3 am and not being able to get back to sleep, but now I have headaches for a different reason. I have pimples all through my hairline and they really hurt. It's embarrassing but it is the physical discomfort that upsets me the most. I don't know if it is safe to use skin products in pregnancy so I haven't. I hope they go away soon.

night wakings

These night wakings are really grating on me. I have so much trouble sleeping at night. We just got our one year old sleeping through before I fell pregnant, and I had a few blissful nights of 8 hours uninterupted sleep. It was bliss. My excitement was short-lived though because soon after the pregnancy hormones kicked in and I have been waking at least twice a night. At first I would just go to the toilet, have a drink of water and go back to sleep with little drama. Then there were the countless nights of lying there saying "please let me sleep, please let me sleep" for an hour or so until finally falling asleep just before my daughter woke up screaming. She is teething at the moment so she wakes early. I can convince her to go back to sleep after a feed (yeah I'm still breastfeeding even though my doctors say I need to stop) and a long cuddle, but by the time I do that my husband is up for the day. Well his alarm is anyway. His alarm is the mother of all things annoying but of course he has to go to work to pay the bills. Overtired and hormonal, I always feel like he needs me to keep him motivated, off his backside, getting ready for the day ahead. Of course he never appreciates my prompting, but if I don't get up with him he sits on his buttocks until 10 minutes before he has to leave when our daughter senses something is not right and wakes up, then we have the mad rush to get him ready and out the door while juggling a groggy toddler.

This morning I haven't bothered lying there punishing myself for being awake. I have gotten up, had a bowl of cereal and spent some time on the internet. I should do the dishes or something useful but I don't want to wake the baby. I am tired enough to sleep now but my daughter normally wakes soon. I don't want to wait up coz she woke randomly at 1 am so maybe she won't wake early today. I have a big day ahead (everyday is big) and know I need as much sleep as I can get. Listening to the violent snores from my bedroom hubby is on a roll tonight. I should try and sleep through it but I don't like my chances. Wish me luck!

waiting

Waiting until 12 weeks to share the news is almost killing me. I am pregnant. I am very excited and scared at the same time. I have a one year old. So this is my second baby. I am not sure how I'll cope with two babies, or how I'll cope with a baby and a bump. Morning sickness is a big struggle, but so far so good, thanks to my mostly supportive husband. I thought pregnancy would be easier the second time, coz I would know what to expect, however is expecting back, neck, boob, pelvic and joint pain a good thing? Is knowing I will be fat, awkward, uncomfortable, emotional and sweaty helpful? Take a ride with me through pregnancy the second time around.