antenatal appointments

After being woken up twice in four hours my body has decided it doesn't need any more sleep. That would be fine if those four hours weren't at the start of the night. After an hour of lying there I still can't sleep, so time to work out why. I think I am nervous about my obstetritian appointment today.

I was rather hoping that because this is my second pregnancy I wouldn't be worried about this kind of thing anymore. I'm not, at least not in the way I used to be. When I was pregnant with my daughter Alexis I used to worry about all kinds of things, as women going through first-time pregnancies do:
- what if there's something wrong with the baby?
- what if there's something wrong with me?
- what will they do to me?
- what if I'm late for work (getting a day off was virtually impossible so I used to have to do the 5pm shift on days I had appointments)
- what if I can't understand the doctor?
- what if they run really late (as public hospitals tend to do) and my husband gets in trouble for missing so much work and he has to give up and leave me there?

This time around I am not working, hubby is not coming with me, I have a fair idea what to expect with regards to the consultation ("everything ok? Yep? What your back hurts and you can't feel your legs and you are so tired and sick? And you're a hormonal wreck worried everyone hates you? Yep everything is normal"), I know the baby inside me is healthy, and apart from having some viral illness or an other for 2 months and being a hormonal mess, I know I'm doing well. So why am I worried?

I am worried:
- will I get lost on the way to the hospital?
- will I be able to get a park?
- will I remember everything?
- will they run horrendously late? (of course they will)
- will I be able to keep my daughter entertained long enough to survive the wait and the appointment?
- will I make it through the day without my nap!
- I've not long ago realised my appointment interferes with my daughters nap time, will she still sleep or will she be a nightmare?
- will I be able to wrangle a toddler, a nappy bag, my scan results, drinks and snacks, toys and or books, the pram or stroller and my big fat pregnant self?
- how do I juggle all this with going to the toilet, which I will inevitably have to do at least once, probably more.

*hour break to try to get my toddler back to sleep*

The hospital I chose this time has a play pen in the antenatal clinic waiting room. That's why I chose this hospital, so if they're running hours late at least there's somewhere for Alexis to play. The drama is when it's time to go in I will have to interupt her to stick her in the pram to go see the doctor. I can't see that going too well. My kid has tantrums down to an art. That's if the pram even fits in the room. Some of the rooms are too small so they make you leave the pram outside. So then I have to park the pram, take my valuables out and wrangle a toddler, all the while pretending to focus on the baby in my belly. I recently bought a small umbrella stroller so I can attempt to strap Alexis onto that and take it in with us. We haven't tried it yet so that makes me nervous.

Then there's the fact that if she's tired she won't play anyway, she will just sook and be grizzly. There's a chance she will fall asleep on the way. I can't see her staying asleep if I transfer her to the upright stroller but if I attempt to transfer her to the pram I then get lumped with the pram when she wakes up and wants out to play or worse if by some miracle they don't run late but the pram won't fit I'll have to wake her to carry her in. Besides that the pram is heavy and I don't want to lift it in and out of the boot if I can avoid it.

It's uncertain if she'll fall asleep on the way anyway considering she usually goes down at the time my appointment is scheduled for and I need to allow plenty of time to find a parking space. The carpark is sometimes full, so if that happens I'm up the proverbial creek with a toddler and a bump and a stroller and a "blue book" (pregnancy folder) and a Medicare card and a car key and a nappy bag and a doll and a kiddy muesli bar and a whopping great envelope with an ultrasound report...(maybe there's room for a paddle but I doubt it).

*Another break to re-settle toddler. I hope she sleeps for a few hours straight now, I'm tired ;)*.

Argh too many unknowns. I'll just go and wing it. I don't really have a choice. Why oh why don't we have private health insurance? Oh yeah we cancelled it when I refused to go back to work...*Sheepish smile*. If nothing else, today will be an adventure. My husband often accuses me of being afraid of leaving the house.(Gee, I wonder why!? Pfft.)

Is pregnancy easier the second time around? Well, I don't worry every time something feels odd this time. I don't panic with every ache and pain. I'm not scared about labour or birth or caring for a baby. So I guess in a way it is. As for the appointments though, no they don't get any less annoying. Fortunately though the professionals know they're annoying so there's less appointments second time around. At least that's something!